I couldn’t help it anymore. I cried for the first time in years. Not because of loss of affection but, the lack of love. I left for Moscow Idaho on the 1st. I arrived to find temporary work while I wait to figure out my next life decision. I got the job. But just being up here has left me no money and to rely on my friends. I made a call to ask/beg my parents for just a little money for food until I receive a paycheck. My father being in Afghanistan leaves me at the mercy of my mother. Currently I am sitting in my car deciding to apply for food stamps or not. I want to love my mom. She makes it so easy to hate her.